Just because it’s called International Women’s Day, doesn’t mean it’s just for women. We need men to be involved in the gender equality movement in order to change the status quo. Therefore, you should be welcomed with open arms to any event, talk, or online discussion you attend. Hell, they might even roll out the red carpet.

If it’s your first time attending an IWD event, it’s probably best you don’t say much at all. You’re not there to magically solve the problem. Just soak it up and be aware of how the topics being discussed make you feel and any biases you may have.

We’ve all got that one mate. But it’s 2023 and the times they are a-changin’. Luckily, most men in our male affiliated groups report their male friends either being supportive or wanting to get involved themselves, so you might be pleasantly surprised. But with so much to gain by attending, we say fck the haters (and the cupcakes).

Say that you are here to lean in, listen, learn and that you’re actively trying to support women. We can guarantee you, this message will be welcomed.

If your workplace has catered this tokenistic symbol of performative HR theatrics, so be it, may as well eat them. But next year, try educating your workplace on how they can do better and bring more meaning to the day.

Good news. You’re not attending to answer questions. In fact, explaining (or mansplaining) on IWD is the opposite of what we want you to do. We want you to be there with us, listen, hear us out and just be. Easy, right?

We hear this often and we understand where this fear comes from. But as long as your questions and thoughts come from a genuine place, it should be met with enthusiasm rather than scorn. That’s also why there are many men’s organisations where you can discuss issues and make these mistakes. It’s expected of you, especially if it’s your first event you’re attending. Just remember, showing up and listening is enough.

Let’s be honest, every guy has been in a situation he could’ve handled differently. Or might be ashamed of some attitudes or behaviour towards women in the past. This applies to women too! But this journey is about learning from your mistakes. What you would’ve done differently. And how not to make those same mistakes again.

There are a number of men’s groups and organisations you can join. Drop us a note at contact@fckthecupcakes.com and we’ll share our own personal list of allies.

Men who engage in this topic aren’t just helping to change the world for the better. Although, we’d say that’s a pretty big benefit! But research tells us that leaning in can benefit them, too.

It develops greater empathy and understanding of unconscious bias e.g. fostering better relationships with your wife, partner, kids…as well as all the females in your life.

It makes you a better leader, as you become more informed and aware as you rise to the top. You’ll soon start spotting behaviours and trends you might not have noticed previously.

Best of all, you’ll feel good just from doing good. It’s okay to be selfish about this. You will get just as much out of what you put in, we promise.